Good Evening, and welcome to this week’s edition of ‘Incompetent or Dishonest’, the new game show where YOU get the chance to decide whether our elected representatives and civil servants are just a bunch of incompetent dorks or whether they’re actually criminally inclined thieving bastards! We have our usual prizes – a box of pre-completed P45s held here by the delectable Suzanne from HR, and a box of pre-completed Arrest Warrants held by our own boy in blue, Chief Inspector Plod of the Yard!
This week, our contestants are all Ministers and Civil Servants responsible for Immigration and Employment Policies, who’ve been chosen from the many eligible Government Departments to argue for their liberty and careers! The lucky winners get a P45 and freedom, the not so lucky losers get a stretch in Wandsworth Prison!
Let’s go to our research department to find out a little more about this weeks contestants….
There has been a depressing tendency in the last year or two for our dear Government (and their supporters across the nation) to find themselves in various embarrassing situations due to illegal immigrants being employed in various public sector jobs. It’s not a good record for HMG – let’s just take a look:
We don’t want to embarrass the Government too much, so let’s just look at the last couple of years… Starting off back in 2007 with illegal immigrants being able to get jobs in the Security industry. In September 2009 Baroness Scotland is found to have employed an illegal immigrant as a housekeeper…. In November 2009 we have illegal immigrants as NHS cleaners. And today we have stories of more illegal immigrants working for the Home Office and the NHS.
Oh dear…not a good record is it? Just how difficult can it be to check someone’s paperwork when they apply for jobs in the Public Sector? After all, when many people apply for work these days one of the first things that is requested is a copy of your passport or other papers proving you are entitled to work in the UK. Now…if you think that our brilliant civil servants aren’t checking the paperwork, or that the procedures are not being followed, you should text ‘Incompetent’ to our hotline. On the other hand, if you think backhanders are being taken, or people are deliberately letting folks through the screening process for some reason even if they’re not entitled to work in the UK – text ‘Dishonest’.
If some of our contestants look like winning an Arrest Warrant, they can choose to play their Joker, in which they can pass the blame on to some minimum wage minion and escape with their sorry necks. And in a new feature for this series of Incompetent or Dishonest we give you viewers the chance to text ‘Treason’ to our hotline; if a contestant gets enough ‘Treason’ votes they’re off to The Tower!
So…let’s play ‘Incompetent or Dishonest’ – and remember….ministerial P45s mean ‘New Government’!